Is it progress ?

So for the last little while, I’ve been releasing stuff as strict epub which is the industry standard when it comes to books. Although the program that I have been using has made some changes recently that I don’t care for and I’m thinking about going back to classic .doc format…

Now if I change to .doc format it means that I have a wide variety of formats that my ebook gets created in, but in epub format it doesn’t.

So I’m unsure of what to do, am I taking a step back or not…  Or is it taking a step forward ?

I wrote my distributor and asked them if I submitted something in doc format they convert it to everything else including epub.

If I sent something in epub format they don’t covert it to anything else.

So what file type do they distribute it in ?

This maybe what helps me decide on the change or not to change.

But recently as I’ve said I’ve updated my epub creator (Sigil) and I don’t care for the changes they have made, right now I have two ebooks I’m currently working on so I want to know what method is best




Done all I could
Not sure what else can be done
Didn’t think what I said was that bad
Clearly it was, in your mind

Since when is telling someone
There beautiful in everyway and not to change
A bad thing

I guess it was
But I don’t see it

Guess I should have over analyzed
Everything a thousand times
Grind it down to sand

Think I apologized about five times already
Silence on your end

Can’t really do anything more at this point
I tried talking
You stayed the same

Nothing more to say
Guess I fucked that up




My soul has became corrodded
Turned to rust colour, ugly
It doesn’t work the way it once did
At times I wonder if it’ll ever go back to the previous form

I’ve found the worse parts and ripped it out
In hopes of it fixing itself
But it doesn’t it just makes it more ugly
The holes that I have created grow slowly over time

Still keeping it as ugly as ever
Not sure if anyone would want to take the time to shine
Me up, like i’m something worth while

At times I’m soft and brittle
Easy to fall to pieces over what one thinks is a little thing
Don’t think I’ll ever be the same as I’ve once was

Definately a work in progress
Lots of work, very little progress
I doubt anyone will want to

I shall sit and continue to corrode
The darkest of corners is where I shall hide
The world doesn’t like the ugly that I am
Pushed aside to be forgotten
As I become more


13 Reasons Why You Lie – Lie #9

13 Reasons Why You Lie – Lie #9

I see your back to being an actress
Have to act the part to fit in, can’t break the role
Otherwise you may not have a part anymore.

You haven’t had a part here for a while
But like the good little actress you keep up the role
Hopefully nobody catches on
But we have

You no doubt haven’t caught on, but it’s fine.
Life is different around here when your not around
Unlike before when it was almost like it was all paused
I know I’ve changed

Trying to change for the better
It’s a slow process
I admit it
But nobody has ever said growth or change was easy
Or fast


Blogging and Websites

So one of the most common ways that people say “is easy to make money online” is by none other than… blogging.

Now they say it’s trying to find your own niche, but if you have half a million people blogging online about half a million different niche’s … what’s left to blog about ?

I’ve often wondered how many people have spent money on blogs and later walked away from them ?, I bet that’s a huge number… I remember a few years ago that people would pound the idea into my head “if you don’t have a domain name you’ll never get notice”… honestly it doesn’t matter… a domain name doesn’t make that much of a difference.

The tip I can tell you direct from the mouth of one who started off creating html websites is this…  Google and every other search engine has changed up they way they index everything… The old google if you had 500 articles on your site, you would get 500 listings on google… They changed that, they have slimmed google down and the way it crawls over your site

I’ve seen sites with 500+ pages created on wordpress getting tons of traffic, then when google revamped the way it does things, they got next to nothing because most of the traffic was just search engine bots (aka bots) doing indexing ..
I’ve seen the same thing happen with youtube videos.

You can’t trick things anymore, those bots are getting smarter and they don’t count as traffic anymore… 1 human = 1 view.

I’ve thought about creating my own wordpress blog with another host but in all honesty I’ve opened and closed close to a dozen blogs over the last five years or so…

I use to stress about my traffic no matter here on wordpress or any html site I’ve created. Honestly I’ve given up on stressing about it.. This blog doesn’t mean anything to me anymore… I can create a site in about five minutes if I have to, a simple html website.. It will still get no views just like this blog…

It’s similar to websites, the last over five years I’ve always created my sites in html 5, but I’ve noticed something, every browser will display it differently. I also noticed that every update to every browser will make the site look different as well. All you can do is setup a base look for what you see because the site you create will be a similar render of that. It maybe exactly that or it might be a little different.
Just don’t stress out about it…

13 Reasons Why You Lie – Lie #6

13 Reasons Why You Lie – Lie #6

Never met someone so irresponsible
Yet your a mother, something you gloat about
I watched for two years as your basically killing yourself
To try to make a better life for your kid

Tried to tell you that you don’t need two jobs
But you argued with me
On every aspect.
Your pay for your second job almost doubles your first
But you do shit for fucking tax purposes

You should be doing things for you
For your own personal sanity
So you can have a life as well
But your life is work
You don’t give yourself time to do anything

After that time I figured that’s what you want
Is the ability to not see anyone
Not to see me

Well we all know how that worked for you
I told you I’m done trying
Within a few days my stress started to vanish

Some people want help
Others don’t
A small few just bury themselves so far deep they don’t know help even if they got it.

Guess which one you were
Your problems are exactly that YOURS
Never wanted help, no worries
Don’t need that shit in my fucking life.


13 Reasons Why You Lie – Lie #3

13 Reasons Why You Lie – Lie #3

Told me from the start that your always horny
Always wanting sex, the truth came out didn’t it
Kept telling me you wanted to come over for my cock

But when that day came, you never came over
Always some sort of excuse, it seemed like that’s all you wanted
So when I called you on it, your attitude changed

Even more lies came out after
You came over even less
Tried to convince me that’s not all you wanted
Started to talk about other guys
Who were so nice and sweethearts

I knew you quickly jumped to someone else
I knew all you were, was cock hungry
It’s not like you got anything from me

You tried, but life has a funny way of not fitting
Life has a funny way of working out like that


My Mental Thoughts – OUT NOW

Many people at some point question there mental thoughts, as it seems to be a hot topic whenever something bad happens. Recently I have gone through some rather dark times in my life and some rather depressive times as well. I was borderline going to see a psychiatrist at this time in my life I chose to write about them for everyone to read.

They are dark, they are angry at times they are very depressed.

If you feel you are strong enough come and ride through the roller coaster that is… My Mental Thoughts

It can now be found on all major ebook retailers for the price of $9.99


Had To Take Time

So for about a week or two, maybe longer I had to take time out from my blog/site. Had stuff going on that was out of my control, was being forced into a job that I didn’t want but that only lasted two days. But the bitching seems to come and go frequently.

I also broke up with my gf, but that seemed to linger and she kept playing off my weaknesses which dragged me down into a even darker hole for myself, then she decided to text my mom and tell her I was depressed and no doubt more which then I was basically monitored like crazy and asked every day if I was depressed and was being told that I should go see a psychiatrist.

That was the final string between me and her, as I no longer trusted her after that. I felt like I couldn’t talk to her after that as well. She told me that I could always talk to her about everything , but that truly showed her true colours and she was claiming that she was “just being a mom” … which I argued, “your not my mom so quit trying to act like it”

It made my depression worse and made me question everything about myself, it even made me wonder if I even wanted to write or be around people anymore.

I’m still struggling to pull myself out of the hole of depression that she put me in, I’ve been distancing myself from social media (like facebook) since then. I no longer have my tablet on me 24/7 I put it away but I first uninstalled facebook from it so I have to login to it

I almost closed this site/blog for good but it then started to reflect my logo which I have since walked away from using, I originally was using it as one way to tell everyone what I wrote kinda what record labels do but I later gave up on that and felt it was best to move on from that

Right now I don’t really see a light  at the top of this hole that I’m trying to dig myself out of.

Then the site came online that you guys are seeing right now, more site than blog. Very simple design.
Very simple in general.

Just added a email me page.


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