Lost Feeling

I know I haven’t wrote anything in a bit, I think three days or maybe more since I wrote poetry. I know yesterday I wrote something that I posted or maybe it was the day before.

Honestly as of late I’ve just been feeling lost, I’ve been spending as much time as I could talking to my girlfriend just about anything really, I really haven’t had much to say about anything but I will gladly sit and listen to her and if I’m with her I’ll gladly look at her while she talks.. Of course I have the habit of trying to throw her off topic by doing stuff like mid sentence I’ll give her a kiss, depending on if it’s just a little kiss or if it lasts it sometimes has the habit of her forgetting what she was talking about.
Or we just sit and cuddle just to be together and she’ll curl up on me, yes she’s very cat like in that regard.

I normally do have that creative feeling and I have had it recently just I have kinda pushed it aside at times, I don’t know if it’s because I don’t feel like writing or if it’s because I’m worried that I might sound like a broken record by repeating myself.

Normally I don’t push my creativeness aside, every bit of creative juice I let it out… WOW that sounds kinda dirty hahaaa.

As of late I’m feeling lost, I know I’ve gotten out a bit more recently, went over to my Mom’s boyfriends place to help clean things up after a bit of a storm we had. I normally don’t go do stuff like that so it was definitely uncharacteristic of me. But I felt like I had to get out of the house for a bit and away from things, I don’t know what I really want to do but at those times when I did I definitely felt the need to get out. Even though I spent a portion of one of those days roaming his front yard picking up sticks and tossing them into a pile. It was something and it got me out of where I currently am.

Been doing thinking as of late, and maybe that’s why I haven’t really wrote anything since I’ve watched my writing numbers and how through my distributor my numbers have basically fallen to next to nothing, as of late my reads have been bouncing around the 20 mark, for the most of the time it stays below that. It makes me wonder if I should be using a distributing channel or not, or should I just stick with one site. Kinda like turning my site into it’s own personal library even though right now I don’t think I could be bothered, I just don’t think people go and read poetry like they use to. I know I get likes on here (my blog) when I write stuff but it makes me wonder if I should be writing any place else besides that. It certainly would save a assload of money, no I don’t pay to distribute anything but I do keep certain paid programs up dated so that I can use them without any problem.
Not that I pay something like Adobe that’s subscription based. I don’t and at most I drop I think $40 every few years to keep Paint Shop Pro updated. But it got me thinking how maybe I shouldn’t do that anymore.. Times are changing, it’s similar to my music I’ve thought about stepping away from that too. Just limiting myself to what I do, perhaps take a break from having to rush around and get things ready to distribute maybe that’s why I’m feeling lost.

Perhaps it is a time for a break and a time to just focus on two sites my blog and my actual site.. Or perhaps I’ll just focus on my blog for now. I think I have enough stuff out there in the world of distributing to spike people’s interest and I guess I’ll just focus on making my blog bigger.

Just a few thoughts, going to go have a bath and relax in the tub for a bit because clearly I’m dirty lol



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