Been Feeling

The last few days I’ve been feeling rather sick to my stomach, I think it’s a mix of stress from everything going on in my life and something else, maybe anger.. I don’t know what else maybe it’s just stress.

So I’ve been spending countless hours in bed, basically I usually am in bed by like 7pm watching a string of randomly chosen movies until I fall asleep. I’m sure tonight won’t be much different because of how things have been.

I’ve been fighting with my ex who still lives with me after seven months and she continues to proceed to talk shit about me behind my back (ok call that one a hunch) which I don’t understand because I try to do everything for her that I can including being there for her after she got into a fender bender a week ago.
But yet here I am “the asshole” who apparently can’t do anything right. I continue to try to help out where I can but at times my frustration bubbles over and other emotions come out.

The problem with that is I have trouble talking to people, when I start talking to people I begin to shake which is very bad, specially when meeting new people they all seem to think something is wrong with me, which is no doubt why my current girlfriend hasn’t introduced me to any of her friends because she knows how much my shaking bothers me and we haven’t spent much time together recently cause she’s very busy.

I’ve been trying to sort all this shit out in my head which resorts me to climbing into bed and trying to drift out of my thoughts by watching countless movies while in bed. Since I don’t know what else to do with myself right now.

That’s why I haven’t been writing so much or the one day that I did write a string of things came to me and I set things up on a schedule so that it would look like I was writing all day long when really it happened in about an hour or two then I had it string along through the entire day.

So that’s how things are with me right now and why I haven’t really been doing much.

The other thing that’s slowed me down today was I’ve been beta testing windows (which does mean I’m a windows insider) and the latest build (that is not public) has been producing a number of green screens which is formerly called blue screens or “blue screen of death” but now it’s “green screen of death”.. Things have been fine for the most part but today has definitely been a exception as I’ve gotten I think five or six of them so I have limited what I’ve been doing at this time. But I should have a new build come out this week, hopefully sooner the better and hopefully that problem can get fixed.

That is where my life stands right now

Kennie

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