Dark Thoughts

Just found out a guy who lived near me passed away and his cause.
Never would have thought that, always seemed so happy.
It’s got various people scratching there heads, they couldn’t believe it.

While seeing the sadness I feel like I stepped out of my body and look around.
It makes me wonder if people would react the same for me.
If it was me and not him, would reactions be the same

Or would it roll off there backs like a bead of sweat.
Like it was nothing
Like I was nothing

Is that what people expect from me
Is that where my life is leading
I know at one point in my life I spent lots of time thinking like that

Trying to figure out how to say good bye, but in the lease obvious way.
I never did do it.
At times thoughts do come across my mind, how would things be different.

What can I say ?, In some ways I can relate.
I don’t lead a great life
Nor do I lead a life filled with friends.

My life is rather quiet
Very empty
At times, very alone.

I don’t blame anyone for my life
I’ve always had trouble making friends or talking
Besides I don’t think it’s anything I can change.

I never was any good at talking or expressing myself.
Although a few  people would say differently.
I don’t know if I would agree with them or not.

At times I think I have
Other times not so much.
Guess that’s my life though

Always questioning things
Wondering if I am as well as what I feel or say.

These are just some of the dark thoughts that have went through my mind today



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