Been Struggling

Been struggling with going upstairs over the last few days
Looking outside makes me sad, I’m trying to avoid sadness
I know it’s not helping me, but I don’t know what else to do.

I tried to talk about it, clearly that’s not the answer.
I get answers yelled at me, then I get talked about behind my back
From my own mother on the phone with who knows who.

Telling them that “He’s not willing to help”
Everything always has to be your way for you to be happy
You already made me an empty promise

I don’t see me following through with it
I know everything you say has a hidden agenda to it
Makes me sad, makes me sick just thinking about it

At times I wonder if I’ll truly get over how I’m feeling
Or will the sadness just stay with me forever
As of the last few days I wonder if I’m stuck in this emotion

My pillow has seen more tears recently than it has in a long time
I make conversations in short bursts because that’s all I can muster up
Almost like limiting my characters, twitter convo.

I’m bracing myself for the long haul for dealing with this
I don’t know what else to do.



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