Posted in Life

Haven’t Been On…

I haven’t been on lately and by that I mean in general not so much to post but I really haven’t gotten on my computer…

You see Mom’s boyfriend was having trouble with an old computer of his that he wanted to give Mom since Mom’s computer is painfully slow.. But he’s been talking about this for about two years now and just have been too busy to bring it over which I understand cause he is very busy at times… So I finally convinced him to bring it over and the problem he was having was he couldn’t copy files from the internal hard drive to an external source (hard drive / thumb drive / SD card) it kept crashing explorer… I told him I would fix it so the first thing I did was got all the windows updates since he doesn’t update windows (he’s on limited bandwidth, very limited) anyways so that didn’t fix it.. My next step was start to uninstall everything under the sun.. so I started to do just that.. First shot I removed about 56 programs one after the other… just a rapid succession of uninstalls… but that didn’t fix the problem.. So I got looking at programs he had installed and he had one called “Winlocker” so I asked him if it was OK if I removed it or if he needed it for something.. He told me he had no idea where it came from.. So I removed it and BAM everything was fucking gold.. He could transfer shit without a problem. So I lent him my 2TB external so he could copy all the files he wanted to it so I could wipe that computer that he wants to give Mom… he got everything transferred so I began to remove the rest of the programs… Of course the computer had windows 7 on it, he wanted it upgraded to windows 10 and I’ve been having trouble doing that but I think I found what I overlooked from minute one.. Only time will tell.

So Mom will have a very fast computer to use from now on when she gets back home since right now she’s over at Ralph’s. Or that’s what I’m hoping, since I hope that I have it up and running by the time she gets home.

That’s what I’ve been busy doing with all the time I have..

I slept like shit last night too cause my brain kept going to the portion of “how can I solve this problem ? I know I can solve it, but how ?” .. well after trying to fix the problem all day I think I finally solved it but I won’t know until later tonight since right now Mom’s computer is running the fix.. So here’s hoping. I may do a follow up post to this or I may not I don’t know.. or I may just edit this post later and say if I fixed it or not in the morning.

If I fixed it then I’m almost done with it, if I didn’t fix it then I still have work to do, not sure how much but I still have a bunch to do..

Time to try and relax for a bit before I goto bed.


Posted in Life

New Category ?!?

I normally don’t do a single post talking about me adding a new category to my blog cause honestly who cares right ?. But I know I really haven’t posted much this year and was kinda itching to get something new posted.

So the new category that I’m thinking about adding to the blog is “Windows 10” … If you don’t know me personally what you won’t know is that I’m a geek at heart, I’ve always loved testing new features in windows and helping to submit reports if I come across any problems as well as talking about it with people. Well I got off of being a windows insider last year because of having problems with one build and chose to take a break from it well I’m thinking about going back to it.

Every few months Microsoft asks it’s insiders to submit (if they’re interested) to be a windows insider mvp which you get a few small perks from it, I tried it recently and got told I wasn’t selected and was told a few options to help increase my chances and one of those was to write on a blog. Which got me thinking, well I have a blog.. In fact I have my own blog.

Currently that’s what I’m thinking about doing, nothing is officially set in stone at this point in time it’s just something that I’m thinking about doing, so it would be something that I would randomly toss into the mix of everything else that I’m doing on here. Giving my own personal insight as well.

Posted in Life

Last Few Days

So over the course of the last few days I’ve been in a constant battle with my ex, apparently she feels she’s getting screwed over by her current cell phone carrier and after looking into it and trying to be my typical nice guy I told her I agree with her conclusion so she asked me to look for a new provider so we took off to Upper Canada Mall for her to ask questions but of course she was in one her moods and refused so that night I got frustrated out of my fucking mind and I send her this:

If you want to go to Walmart today and try to get the phone ordeal figured out, do it. 
I had a thought about going with you to Newmarket when you were going to try and get the phone working with them but I can see that it must be a instant thing with you otherwise life is going to end or some shit like that so if you must have it done asap then go to Walmart. 
I don’t see what the big deal is but I guess it’s one of your “friends” and some secret. So go get the stupid phone. 

As for new years dinner, your on your own just like new years eve. I’m just going to do my own thing. If you want to go out to a concert or visit your friend go for it, have a few drinks and spend the night. 

I have no interests in paying attention to the whole thing I don’t even know if I will be awake for it.

In the morning I woke up to her response which I can’t help but laugh at various things in regards to it like she feels that she’s the cause of why I borrowed an anxiety blanket etc, so this is what she said

I would like to get things taken care of asap, yes…. But I will wait because you’re right, and it’s one of the things I was going to say, I know Walmart won’t be able to help me anyway….that’s why the email specifically says “Koodo Store”.   We will go on January 2nd if you’re up for it after my physio appointment.
I am sorry that I want to get everything straightened out as soon as possible…. I have the tendency to forget things easily, as you know…..that’s one of the reasons I am getting my license/health card done today instead of waiting.  I have physio, banking appointments, and heading back to work coming up and I don’t want to accidentally forget to do something.
As for New Years, my plan has always been the same as what has become tradition; chill out on the couch, watching movies and snacking with you, having a drink, and us go to bed whenever we’re tired.
I had the idea, when I saw the ad on tv while at my parents, for the possibility of us going out to Barrie but that quickly got turned down so I went back to the original plan.
Truthfully, not once did I think about going to Burks Falls to hang out with Nikki or to Toronto and hang out with Bryce….not once did it cross my mind….though I have the feeling you think I’m lying about that, like everything I say.
With what you said, I get the feeling you don’t even want to hang out and watch movies today….or snack, or be in the presence of my ugliness (inside and out, just so I’m being specific).  If you would rather not, that’s fine…. I’m still planning on making up chips and dip, the wong wing stuff and oriental party pack.  If you choose to have some of it with me, then fine, if not, there’s nothing I can do.  I can offer, I can try to be nice, but in the end, I’m always wrong so why should the last day of the year be any different.
I will bypass the ham then and we’ll just come up with something else to have…. maybe we’ll try that tater tot recipe if you want.
I am sorry I make you life so difficult…. I’m sorry that I make you angry and upset, and stressed out, and anxious all the time that you feel you need to hide away form the world and get an “anxiety blanket”.  I didn’t think I was making things that bad for you, but I guess just the presence of me being here is enough to cause that.   I’m sorry I couldn’t move out in the spring for you to make your life so much better this year.   I will aim for that for 2019 so that maybe your life won’t be so horrible for the second half of the year….and your mothers too.    I know this living here while not together is not the ideal situation but I have still been trying to make it deal able by continuing to do what I have always done…. buy things for you that you are interested in, bring home little treats for you when you’re not expecting it, try to watch things with you on tv/dvd/bluray, give you your space when you want to do your own thing, and help around the house when I can.
My wish for you, as it has been for the last 13 years, I wish you happiness in life…. I want you to be happy, always, and I have tried to push you towards something that seems like happiness for you.   I wish you all the best for 2019 (and every year), good health, happiness, wealth, and prosperity.  I wish the same for your mother.  Since I get the feeling you don’t want to be in the same room as me ( much less same house) I figured I would give you my New Years wish for you now.

I’ve done my best for not really speaking to her that much and to be honest trying to keep my distance cause I’m tired of dealing with the stupidity that she brings.

So that’s what I’ve been up to the last few days and why I haven’t really posted anything although I have cleaned up the navigation of the site a bit and will continue to do so because I’ll be adding new links etc as I post my stuff in more locations.

I have lots planned for this year, I may explain more in another blog post I haven’t decided though, time will tell.

Knowing that many like a glimpse into my personal life, here you have it…


Posted in Poetry

Knock Knock

Knock Knock
I’m no longer letting you in
It’s about time that you leave this place
Cause I no longer want to see your face.

Knowing what you were like when we’re together
I know your tricks, your lies and the bullshit you say.
You’ve continued to try to lay it on thick and do the same since we’re not together.
No longer do I enjoy spending time with you, it’s more of a hassle than anything.

I know your constantly on your tablet trying to offer your pussy to whoever wants it.
The rest of the world can have it, just wait till they find what it’s attached to.
I’m sure you tell all of them “omg he treats me like shit and abuses me”
But yet your still living in my house, while you spread those lies.

At first I said I would be there for you when you needed me, but those words have faded away.
You are now on your own, once you leave this house my communication will be limited at best
As I continue to be a nice guy, I’ve taken note of all the shit you’ve said, done and how you act
I know I’m not the only one who’ve kept a close eye on you.

I hope you end up getting pregant while your still living here.
I won’t have a problem kicking the pregant girl out in the cold.
That thing that would be in you, isn’t mine and you think I’m going to let you live here
No longer my problem, you can go live with your parents, don’t care if they’re in a seniors community

Your there child, your there responsibility.
But I see them trying to pass you off to whoever will take you and feeding you lies too.
Wonder what the big family secret is since they won’t help you.
They keep giving you money at christmas to help your future

But they won’t help your present state.
Which is funny cause they take off on 4-5 vacations each year
Yet they cry that they don’t have any money.

Knock Knock
I’m no longer letting you in
It’s about time that you leave this place
Cause I no longer want to see your face.


Posted in Life

As People Get Ready

So everyone is getting ready, making the final preparations for Tuesday, some are even jumping in the car to go visit family for that day. My Tuesday will be rather boring as it has been, at times it’ll be more depressing. Just going to be spending it with Mom, my brother and myself.
The unwrapping of gifts usually only lasts a matter of a few minutes, but this year it’ll be even shorter, much like recent years when we only unwrap stuff from people in the house where as with Mom’s boyfriend we all wait until the evening for when he shows up to unwrap his gifts since the morning and the better part of the day he spends it with his Mom. Then either for dinner or just after dinner he shows up, hangs out for  a bit and eats (if he’s here in time for dinner) then we unwrap gifts that he brought.

If I remember correctly I don’t think we unwrapped gifts the first time last year until close to 4pm. I just didn’t want to get out of bed at the time so after a while my brother ventured back home since Mom told him “just let him sleep”.

The last few years we’ve talked about doing a no gift Christmas so that no one buys any gifts for each other and it’s really Mom’s choice if she wants to put up the tree or not, so far it’s just been talk. But I think we’re getting much closer to doing that, I think we should. Since in the family I’m the youngest and while this year I had about 10 items on my list, most of it was movies and gift cards. I had a few video games I think I listed 3, plus 3 bigger ticket items that I made mention on my list “can wait until summer” since I know Mom is a bit more strapped for cash than normal at this time of year.

I left out one video game that I’ve been kind of itching to play, because I was going to perhaps splurge and get it sometime between my birthday and now but it didn’t happen for one reason or another. So I may just splurge on Christmas or Boxing day and buy the download for it so that I have it whenever I finish the download., or at least that’s the plan right now. I don’t know if it’s going to happen or not like that but that is the plan that I have in my mind.

Well I guess I’m done here…


Posted in Life


Well the way today is starting I wish I didn’t get out of bed this morning.. I’m actually rather convinced that things would have been better if I didn’t wake up this morning either but that’s beside the point.

People are better off without me around and I slow them down, or cause problems… Yup I get that, well I don’t actually get it but been told that enough that it must be true.. It’s like being told the sky is blue, is it really blue or have we just been told it’s blue enough that we’ve all decided to believe it and it’s forged into our brains ?

As per usual things continue not to go my way in various things I’ve tried so to be honest I’ve quit trying.. I guess you can say I’ve gotten to the point of saying “well I’ve tried for so long and nothing has changed so why try anymore ?” it will be how it is and I have no say in how things go nor can I change it.. So I’m no longer going to force things to change or question it, I’m just going to sit back and see what happens… I imagine what will happen is if it involves people I’ll get swept aside and sooner than later forgotten about since I’m not important, if it involves me questioning things or trying to help with things because I notice things that I don’t think is right then things will continue to be that way and no doubt break and I’ll just continue to be swept under the rug like normal.. Basically either way I’ll be swept under the rug for one reason or another, it’s something that I’m getting use to.

I had a thought for something I was going to write or perhaps do, but after I thought about it for the last 3 days and while the thought is still on my mind  I have decided not to do the idea. Just not in the mood for doing it.. It’s something a bit sexual in a sense but I think I’m going to pass at doing it. I’m sure it’s not going to affect anyone that greatly by me not doing it so I don’t think it overly matters.