Posted in Poetry

My Brain

I’ve always hated how my brain works
How it processes information, always seems to want to goto panic mode
Always looking for the worse
Needing something to stress over

I wish I could stop it
I’m tired of it
Can’t stand the stress from my brain
I keep thinking maybe things will change tomorrow

That’s not the case, it’s almost like tomorrow makes it worse
At times I wish my brain would just stop
But I know what that would mean and others wouldn’t like it
Or so I’m guessing, maybe they would, I don’t know

At times I wonder if there’s something wrong with me.
I feel like I can’t sit down and do some thinking without going into panic
Start thinking about the future and how screwed I am
Start wondering how can I possibly change it, realize it’s not possible.

It’s almost like my life is a train stuck on it’s tracks and I see the future
Can’t really do anything about it except sit and wait
Wondering when will it get to me, wondering how bad it’s going to be
Who am I kidding, I know it will be bad.

I’m going to be lost, confused and completely fucked
Always felt like I have no place to go, I get the feeling it’ll be true.
It makes me not want to get out of bed at times
Hopefully laying in bed will help me out

But I already know that it won’t
I feel like I don’t even know who I am
People keep telling me to do certain things with my life.
My life hasn’t worked out in that way yet.

I feel like life isn’t for me
Not sure what would be for me.
Maybe something
Maybe nothing


Posted in Poetry

How do I react

How do I react to things.

Shes in the middle of it all.

I don’t want to hurt her.

So all I can do is stand and watch in silence.

Nothing else I can say or do.

I feel helpless in so many ways.

The horns don’t even come out.

But the helpless feeling is there.

I don’t know how to tell her.

How I feel, it’s hard to explain.

So I choose to write about it.

Hopefully she will see it and understand.

If not then maybe the helpless feeling will pass.

With time, I would hate to see her change her life.

Almost like watching her from the outside

Not allowed to cross the line.

She has to deal with them all the time.

I don’t have to deal with her friends.

Most just know me by name and nothing more.

Not sure what to do about anything anymore.

So I shall forever sit in silence.

Let her do what she wants to

Watch and be helpless.


Posted in Poetry

Make Waves – Information

Alright so I said for the last little while that my next release “Make Waves” is going to be something different, unlike usual i’m not rushing it I’m letting things flow naturally but that’s not the different I’m talking about. The books I’ve released for the last year or two have always been listed under two poetry categories those two categories were:

The first one is obvious… because I am…  The second one was because it was stuff that was going through my mind at the time and that I was perhaps going through at the time as well. Well the Make Waves release has been a long time coming I’ve had the cover created and the idea floating in my head since early September. I didn’t know if it was actually going to happen in 2017 and clearly it didn’t, I honestly didn’t know if it was going to happen in 2018.. However it clearly is going to be happening this year, I don’t know when but I do know that it will be my first release of 2018.

For those of you who are saying “what’s so different about this release from past releases ?” well with it being 2018 I’ve decided to turn over a new leaf and this release will be listed under two categories as well

As I said first one is obvious, however I find that this bit of poetry/prose is more inspirational and that is what I’m going for. For the last little while I’ve been listening to more and more inspirational music  and needless to say it’s inspired me, it inspired me to turn over a new leaf, unlike many others who’ve done this and have removed there past stuff from all existence of the internet. I won’t be removing my past stuff because I want my journey to be available for all to read.

This maybe the first change I make this year but I’m sure it won’t be my last.