Sadness

As I sit alone in the evening in a chilli house. I continue to feel lonely, more and more as the time goes. The minutes pass and the feeling doesn’t. It makes me sad, I can almost feel the loneliness wanting to escape in forms of tears I hate being alone, I hear everything. Every little gust of wind. Each time the house creeks. Every sound that is made in the house. At times it makes me paranoid. But I sit and feel lonely Nobody is around me, nobody is near me. I never know what to do. I drown … Continue reading Sadness

Loneliness vs Unwanted

Today I was asked if I wanted to go to my ex’s parents place, at first I was going to since I’ve been having trouble being alone as of late. She then got an email from her Mom talking about a few accidents that happened since they got more snow than we have and it made my stomach clench so I then reversed my decision to “nope, I’m going to stay home”.. I know when I end up being home alone I start to feel lonely and at times even scared, I know that sounds pathetic that a 36 year … Continue reading Loneliness vs Unwanted

Loneliness = Boredom

So it appears that when I’m by myself I’m lonely and when I’m lonely then boredom happens and it happens frequently. I hate this, I have over 200 xbox one games and none of them sound good. I think I get bored really really easily and it bothers me cause it makes me sit and look at the wall more often than not.  I feel sorry for people who hang out with me, they must think I’m one boring POS. I never know what I want to do with my time. I also have a playstation 4, but I don’t … Continue reading Loneliness = Boredom