Your words have been spoken.
They were like salt into fresh wounds.
The nice guy in me seen what you mean.
Seen the other side of you.
There’s no turning back now.
You can try to make it up with buying dinner.
I won’t touch that food, you can’t repair the damage.
You can try to buy gifts, won’t touch them either.
Nothing you can possibly do will ever change my mind about you.
I want you furthest from me, I’m tired of seeing you.
Your communication with me is already limited.
It will become even more sparse.
Your now using your body to get what you want from others.
The worse kind of female, one who has no self respect.
Once your out of this house, you will be an after thought.
No longer have to think about you, or answer for you.
You still seem like you walk around here without a care in the world.
But knowing that you have two major stresses, may get hit with two major bills.
That would completely screw you over, then being asked to leave on top of all that.
You made that bed though, so you’ll have to lay in it.
Maybe one of your “friends” can save you, but your just a snake
Sooner than later they will see you what you really are for.
I know once you leave this house your going to get used and abused.
But I guess that’s what you really want.
More and more I’ve noticed that something wasn’t right with you.
But that’s fine, someone else can have you.. I’m done.
This nice guy can finish last.
This nice guy can finish dead.
I will at least say that I tried to do good in this world.
But the one that I tried to help for the last few years kept treating me like garbage.
I have learned from my mistake, if it happened again you shall see what loneliness is.
Nope I won’t talk to the fire fighters, I won’t sit at the hospital with you.
You can later bitch at your friends how I wasn’t there for you.
One can only imagine the shit you say about me already.
I gave up caring after that day, I don’t need you in my life.
But you seem to say you feel unwanted around here.
Isn’t that enough motivation to move out
I doubt it, you don’t seem to get it, but within the next few days
You will get it.
I bet if the shoe was on the other foot, you would have me homeless already.
I doubt I would get a month from you, let alone seven.
Knowing I’ve been more than fair
Knowing you’ve been more than sour
So the next re-release that I’m working on is “Two Faced” I thought about changing the cover for this one but for the time being I’m leaving it alone. I can see that being exactly what I do when it’s time to get released is just putting it out as is. I thought I was going to have trouble adding to it, but clearly that’s not the case. Just added one thing today and that means I’m that much closer to getting it ready to ship out to the distributors.
As of late I’ve been having trouble doing anything but writing, I’ve wanted to do a bit of site work but it feels like that stuff just isn’t happening as of late, as much as I’m trying to stress over it, I’m not. just going to focus on what I can do right now and what I can do is write without any problems.
I know I always go through a time when the whole website thing is a big question mark cause I have trouble with it, but maybe this is the time thats actually saying to me “time to walk away from doing my own site and just focus on one site” Right now time will tell, I’m just taking things day by day at this point cause I don’t know what else to do, however truthfully I am leaning towards just giving up on doing my own site and focusing on things here just because its easy and right now that’s what my brain wants, since I can update and post from any given device I own.
But we’ll see what the future holds for me and the world of html websites…
You really have to go above and beyond to fit in.
Starting to call yourself bi
Wanting to walk in a gay pride parade.
Just cause the only people who seem to accept you call themselves bi
But you’ve always been a follower, never been one to walk your own path.
Just make up stories to convince yourself otherwise.
Saying that “it’s how I’ve felt all my life”..
But shhh it’s your own secret, cause nobody else believes it.
They could have said anything to you, you’d dive into it.
Saying “that’s me”, it’s like drinking the kool aid
But that’s what you want.
I wonder what else you’ll convince yourself of.
But I see they’re just using you.
It’s just like a soap opera watching you with them.
I bet your friends can say “we were abused as children”
You would hop on board with that one too.
Little rich girl who has never been treated poorly in her life.
Couldn’t handle it if your life went that way.
Your goto move was always “ignore it, maybe it’ll go away”
So my next release is going to be called Two Faced, rather self explanatory and it’s one of the covers I’ve been sitting on for quite sometime now, I think I have about eight covers that I created that are just kind of sitting there doing nothing waiting for those ideas to be created.
Alright well I got thinking since my last post, as I said I have 101 ideas flowing through my brain at all times it’s just a matter of choosing one. Yup that’s the tough thing, choosing just one… So many ideas and how do I choose one ?
It’s a tough choice to be honest with you… do I choose to hit my head with a rubber mallet every time I get an idea to see if the idea sticks ?… Nah I can’t do that, I’m sure many people would love it if I did but I can’t. Nope not going to do that… I think it just comes down to what do I want to write about currently, I’ve chosen ideas before and after I’ve thought about them for a few hours to a day I’ve decided “nope, not the right time” so I shoved the idea back in and wait for a bit before looking for another one.. Yes it’s very similar to when you people play bingo on tv..
I’ve already came up with my next release, I got the title for it and I have the cover all done. But I haven’t started to write about it at this time, right now I’m just gathering my thoughts. It’s not a definite thing right now that I want to write about it. So the next release will be called “Two Faced” this is going to be apart of a series that I wrote back in 2014. I can’t believe it three fucking years since I wrote this series, but you know I have always said that a great series can always be added to, it’s never truly finished. The series that I started back in 2014 is called Past Friends, I already have three books in that series so be sure to get caught up on it. I know that the first book in the series is also called Two Faced, which is fine. This one isn’t a rewrite or anything like that I just feel like the name fits so I wanted to use the name again.
Why I Write
I’ve always been the quiet kid who didn’t say much and very shy if you ever got to know me, in fact I’m still that way. That hasn’t changed and I don’t think it ever will change. So I’ve always used my writing as a outlet of dealing with the emotions inside of me, it allows me to get things out that at times I keep bottled up. At times it even allows me to make sense of certain things in my life.
Also one last thing, I’m no relationship expert but if your in a relationship with someone and after ten years your still holding “a secret life” from the one that you are always saying that you love. I’m sorry to say but it’s not going to work out.