I’m No Longer Gold

So today is the day that I am no longer on xbox gold, it’s an interesting feeling even though honestly nothing has changed. It just means no weekly sales for me but I have lots of games to play. I actually became Non gold or “silver” (microsoft term) last night at some point in time but with me being in a different time zone than microsoft I didn’t know exactly when things would kick if it was at midnight for me or for them. Plus with us getting hit with some very heavy winds I didn’t want to turn my xbox on last night I wanted to wait until today when things have died down a bunch or so it seems before I turn things on.

I know last night before I shut down I had something like 224 games that I can install that was still apart of my “games I own”. However I know with getting free games each month that I can choose to claim or not I no doubt will see that number drop, I’m kinda interested in seeing what it dropped to.

This morning when I turned on the xbox I had a system update, yea I’m a beta tester… I think I beta test most things for microsoft.. I know I’m a Windows Insider and I guess with being a beta tester for Xbox it means I’m a Xbox Insider too. I haven’t seen any really cool features pop up lately they’re just polishing things right now because the “spring” update is getting released to everyone in the next week or so, which means the latest update I just snagged up (which just finished as I’m typing this) means that it’s just bug fixes.

I thought about making a category for gaming but at this point in time I don’t talk much about it, but who knows I might I haven’t fully decided right now…
Since the Xbox has booted back up lets see what my game count is..

Interesting enough my game count didn’t drop, I find that kinda interesting but I know I have  a few games I’m going to have to uninstall like Destiny which is online only.. I’m sure my count will drop in a few days, no worries I’m not concerned.


First Few Days Of April

Hello Folks;

As we all know we’re now in April and just three days into it, well tomorrow (wedneday 4th) is the day that my xbox live gold subscription ends, knowing the way xbox is they will no doubt give me the entire day before it actually ends so in one way it will just end on the 5th. I’ve planned for this for quite sometime I have lots of games I haven’t played and honestly I went on some sort of spending rampage racking up quite the bill of games that I would like to play in the near future. I honestly think the games I have will no doubt last me for a good year or maybe two it will depend on how frequently I play them plus it will also depend on how long each game is. I still have games that I’ve started and barely have gotten 2% into and have moved onto something else. Not only that but it wouldn’t surprise me if between now and when I finish my games that a new game might come into my hands between now and then on a few occasions I know I’ve talked to my girlfriend about getting FarCry 5 at some point in time, I’m still working on FarCry 4 truthfully and I’m only about I think 40% done it, I have to say it’s a long long game, or maybe it’s cause I did a bunch of the side missions and things like that before diving into the actual story so that my character already had a bunch of crap that he unlocked prior to doing the missions and I basically have everything unlocked for my character before I crossed over to the second part of the island (or land mass or country… ) I’m not saying that it makes the game that much easier but who knows maybe it does since this is my first time playing it and running around solo doing the offline version, what can I say I have zero friends online.. Most of the time I have random people add me for one reason or another but I guess they figure that I’m going to swoop in and save them, but truthfully that’s not going to happen since tomorrow as I said is the last day that I’ll be playing online.

I have learned one thing… Xbox does two big sales a year, they do a summer sale and a Christmas sale, the difference from being a regular and a gold membership ? … 10% So I will still come across sales twice a year and that’s fine.

Last year when I had to renew my xbox gold I really hesitated and I waited until the last day before I actually did it, I more so did it for the gaming discounts because I’m not a online gamer. I more so play with myself… (cue the dirty thoughts) . I’m fine with that though. I know more and more Xbox is bringing 360 games to the world of backwards compatibility so here’s hoping that they bring forth some of the games that I own and it will allow me to play more items without having to worry about it.

So that’s where I stand in terms of my Xbox gaming.

Lets see what all else is going on with me, I’ve struggled with some thoughts recently some sad thoughts. I guess the nightmare or two that I had didn’t help the situation with that either.

Been thinking alot about me this year though, I’ve came to the conclusion that I’m 36 and I have no life path whatsoever. Some people plan there lives out, others follow the parental footsteps and do what there parents do. I honestly don’t know what I want to do, I’ve tried getting an actual job and nobody has hired me at this point. I dread this year because companies are closing up because of the minimum wage hike, what will make things worse is it’s suppose to go up again in 2019… So I can see that not helping me.
I sit here and I look at the rest of this year and I don’t know what is going to happen with me this year in all honesty. I know I will no doubt continue to write and release stuff when I have ideas or when something triggers a thought.

I want to do something more than write poetry, as I’ve said before I’ve tried short stories or stories the problem is I get frustrated / bored with things so quickly that the idea leaves me and I end up giving up on things which is why certain releases I’ve done recently happened the way they did.

I would never blame anyone for what goes on in my head besides me, I’m the one who has to be alone with myself and live with my own thoughts, I know I have a girlfriend who will gladly listen to me ramble about anything possible if it would help me out and I’m greatful for that but at the end of the day I’m still alone with my own thoughts and have to listen to those voices. I know I’ve said to her a dozen times if not more that I’ve wanted to run away and show up at her place and be with her just so that I wouldn’t be alone with my own thoughts but I know at some point in time I would end up being alone with my own thoughts.

I know that I write in the positive sense because I’ll be the first one to tell everyone “I wouldn’t want anyone else to know what’s going on inside of my head besides me” I more so say that because life is a complicated place and I know many people run through there own personal struggles on a day to day basis so why have anymore. I’m not worried if people would call me “psycho” or shit like that, been called names like that enough through high school they all lost all meaning.

So there ya go, it’s not even the fourth day in April and that’s already what’s going through my mind.


Gaming Habits

Alright so I’ve been a gamer for as long as I can remember however the last few years I’ve struggled with keeping myself focused and wanting to play video games, I would go long periods of time without playing video games and it wasn’t because I had nothing to play. The problem was when a new game came out like lets say Assassin’s Creed Origins which came out October 27 2017. I would check out the videos and say “ahh that’s awesome, I want that game” but it would take me a year or longer to get it because I would buy up older games of Assassin’s Creed because that’s what I could afford. Plus I would buy up 2-3 different games of Assassins’ Creed at once so it was kind of a nice way to build my library. It wouldn’t cost me a whole lot to do that either which is why I did it, it was cheaper than dropping $80 on a new game.
But in my heart I wanted to play the new one cause that’s what looked cool to me.

This would constantly happen to me, I would get newer games at Christmas time. For example this past Christmas I got: Call Of Duty WW2 and Wolfenstein The New Colossus, I beat COD WW2 in little time and had that listed on my ebay account in about a week after Christmas. Wolfenstein I haven’t touched yet.

But since October of 2017 my gaming habits have increased  because not am I going back and playing games that I wanted to play for so long that I bought digitally and just haven’t touched for years, but I’ve managed to get myself a few newer games as well.
On my birthday my girlfriend bought me Forza Motorsport 7 because it came out a few days before my birthday and I kept talking about thinking about preordering it on facebook. So that really started my gaming habits… I finally had a very very new game to play.. Then at Christmas you read what I got, then my girlfriend of mine gave me a Xbox Gift Card  and with this week Assassin’s Creed Origins being on sale, this allowed me to snag up the game for the expensive price of about $10 .. yup just $10 out of my own pocket.

I know on April 1st my Xbox Gold needs to be renewed but with having a great selection of games at my finger tips already, I don’t see me renewing things because I want to play what I have bought over the years.. I also really don’t play video games online, at first I thought it was a cool concept but with some idiots out there it’s best left alone.

I also have 2-3 xbox cards that will allow me to get online for free for a week or so, which I would like to use as well, I’ll hold onto those for a rainy day.

So that’s my gaming habits and where I stand right now…


Video Games / Book Covers / Beverly Hills Cop Thoughts

Video Games

Much like most people I’m a gamer, not as indepth as others but I do play when I find a game that can hold my attention (keywords: game that holds my attention). As of late it’s been Darksiders 2, I have to say the mix of combat and puzzle solving reminds me to games such as Tomb Raider & Uncharted 4…  I mostly play xbox one incase anyone is wondering. But sadly the last two days I’ve became frustrated and some what bored with Darksiders 2, it’s not that I don’t find the game fun, I do.. I really do. It’s just the constant traveling back across the map, it’s becoming a pain in the ass. The story of the game is rather cool though I think that’s what intrigued me the most about the game, I remember getting told about the four horsemen of the apocalypse in school… (yes I went to catholic schools) however it’s funny as I know anyone else who went to one will understand that the main focus is on Jesus and they just barely touch on anything else… But anyways the story is cool but having to constantly travel full length across the map does get tedious at times and right now it’s making me want to put down the controller and find something else to play, I just don’t know what to play. I have had two games in mind:
1 – Minecraft
2 – Star Wars Battlefront
Both games I would have to buy, but right now I don’t know if I want to buy a game since I don’t know what will keep my interest.
For those wondering I’m roughly about half way through Darksiders 2, however I remember reading a report a year or more ago saying that something like 70% of gamers don’t completely finish games. I know I’m in that percentage for sure, but for that I blame myself because I don’t know what I want to play half the time and for the most part I get 3-4 games on the go and something always falls out of rotation to the point of getting completely left behind. So I think I might just look for something else to play and see where that leads me right now.. Times will tell though.

Book Covers

Well as I said in the last post I had six book covers I had to redo, I did manage to get them all done. Only one I had to leave basic with just text since when I was working on it my mind went blank on me, oh well it’s something I can always modify at a later date if my idea comes back to me.

Beverly Hills Cop – Thoughts

The last few nights I sat down and watched Beverly Hills Cop 1,2 & 3. I remember first being introduced to the movies in the 90s as my Father was a big Eddie Murphy fan, so there I was a very young man I don’t even think I was a teenager at the point of my Father showing me those movies. But I don’t think he gave a shit, sure it had gun fights, car chases, topless women and loads and loads of swearing in it. The last Beverly Hills Cop came out in 1994 … But I’ve been seeing on Eddie Murphy’s profile on IMDB that a 4th has been announced but at this point in time no work has been done on it. I know since around 2000 Eddie has really cleaned up his image, he’s been in more PG rated films than anything else so many people grew up with him and know him as Donkey from Shrek, which makes me wonder one thing.. If Beverly Hills Cop 4 comes out, I wonder how many moron parents will think “Ok I’ve seen a bunch of his movies, certainly this can’t be that bad”.. Then take a child to go see it, sure I know I was a fucking child when I was shown the movie but at the time it was in the privacy of our home and my parents have never been ones to get up in arms about some dumb shit, I gotta say these days many parents get up in arms about the dumbest possible shit. It’s sad to watch, what’s sadder is the fact that today’s parents are my fucking age. I’m not directing this at anyone I know so don’t think that, but I remember growing up getting spanked and that sort of shit was a common thing in the house where I grew up. But now the way parenting is done has changed.  But I’m not getting into that argument since I know many think the way we were brought up was wrong etc etc etc…  The parenting argument is one that I tend to stay clear of cause I don’t have kids of my own, so I’m usually told “if you don’t have kids you can’t speak about the subject at hand”..  I have also learned that responding with “If I was acting like your kid back in the day I would have gotten smacked so fucking hard I would have flown across the store, but at least I would know to act better” is not the answer that they like to hear.

Anyways, I’m done here for now so here’s a music video for the time being: Linkin Park – Crawling


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